Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
