If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
