I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
