do herpes really smell.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize