this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
don't judge my taste in strippers
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
