I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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