Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
