Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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