I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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