nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
