Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
