Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
