porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
