Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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