escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
