im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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