I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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