i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
