Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
