Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
