You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
