mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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