your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
