$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
