I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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