the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
vagina is talking i cant
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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