Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When did angry sex become our thing?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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