He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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