a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
