I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
