Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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