Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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