Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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