Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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