So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have demons in me.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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