nut hugger
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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