So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
