I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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