fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's blow job season.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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