dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
