you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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