i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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