cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
