Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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