Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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