let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
