So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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