dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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