We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
