Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.

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(352): View more from Florida

I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last

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(323): View more from California

I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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(815): View more from Illinois

i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.

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(727): View more from Florida

He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.

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