I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
