whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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