i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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