I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
