The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize