5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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