can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
