How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
