Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
