Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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