office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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