my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
