I'm jealous of your bromance
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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