dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize