I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize