I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I need to align my fucking chakras
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize