I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
that's an acceptable place to lick
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
