I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
