Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
