the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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