He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
