He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
