Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
