Small penises have feelings too.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize