After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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