This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
