I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
