what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
