direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
