Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
